I've said it a million times "I hate kids"! Now don't misunderstand, I'm a mom, I have a soft spot for babies but once they've grown past the "little bundle of joys" stage, in most cases I just don't want them anywhere in my general vicinity. I have no patience for the whining,crying,yelling, or ear shattering banshee like temper tantrums.
Yesterday I was at the bank and was subjected to someone's pair of hellspawn, (this experience being the ultimate inspiration for this post). As I always do, I quickly retreated into the depths of my mind in a desperate effort to escape the painful surroundings. While there I had a an epiphany; though I do indeed absolutely loathe the little demons, it's their parents that I truly hate.
The Scenario
I'm standing in line waiting for my turn and I hear a few rapid loud bangs. I look to find the source of the sound and just outside of the glass doors I see two boys (I'm guessing ages 5-7) and their mother. Mom, is standing in line at the ATM talking on her cell phone completely ignoring the fact that her hellspawn are standing in the graveled area throwing rocks at the windows of the bank. Almost immediately I was ready to jump out of my place in line and go scream at all three of them but it was a long line so I refrained. The rock throwing continues for a bit then mom finally reaches the ATM. My irritation levels slowly start to decline with my hope of "YAY it will all be over soon!".
Yeah well I should have known better, apparently Mom's debit card isn't working or something. She proceeds to detach the cell phone from her ear just long enough to drag her hellspawn into the lobby and get in line. There are two people in front of me and she is two people behind me...
Mom is still yapping away on her phone at full volume and full sailor style vocab (she apparently never learned what an inside voice was, I won't start on how fucking rude this behavior is, that will be the subject of a future blog) still completely ignoring anything her spawn are saying or doing.
Apparently the hellspawn both have dreams of being marathon style athletes because they immediately started practicing by racing each other around the lobby. *The line moves up by one person*
Having completed their marathon training, the hellspawn start in on their vigorous debate team training. In my opinion they need a lot more practice in this area because although they started debating calmly it quickly escalated into full on verbal warfare. Screaming at each other at the top of their little lungs and fast to follow the physical altercations; slapping, punching, poking and kicking (in hind sight maybe it wasn't debate team training but some sort of underground street fighting). Mom still has neither detached the phone from her head nor made any effort to explain to the spawn that the bank isn't an appropriate venue for their "training".
Finally it's my turn!! I'm not in the clear yet; I have multiple transactions for our personal and business accounts but there is at least light at the end of the tunnel.
Mom finally hangs up the phone just in time to witness the boys knocking over the giant cardboard mortgage rates sign. She responds with "Boys please leave that alone and come here.". Doesn't scold them in any way! Hell, she didn't even make an effort to pick up the sign just left it there. Amazingly enough the spawn actually obey her request and slowly wander over to her. Without missing a beat one of the spawn says "Mommy I want a sucker, you said we could have a sucker if we were good!" she replies, "You have to wait until it's our turn" with feet stomping and all, spawn: "I want a sucker now!" Mom then proceeds to step around the customer in front of her grabs the sucker bucket and sits it on the floor for the spawn to plunder through. They quickly began to argue over which colors each wanted, mom's answer "You can each have one of each color".
At this point I'm completely dumbfounded! Thinking to myself that she and I obviously have completely different definitions of the word good and that the world would be a much better place if the three of them would just spontaneously combust.
My transactions are completed and I practically run out of the bank; sanity barely intact and indentations in my lip from biting it so hard.
Moral of the story:
There is no hope for those hellspawn or any of their like, it is far too late for them to be saved. They will be poorly mannered, lazy, self entitled brats until they turn into poorly mannered, lazy, self entitled pricks.
However, it's not their fault! They are victims of lazy asshole parents who bribe their children for "good" behavior rather than requiring it. Then they turn around and reward bribe acceptance rather than punishing bad behavior.
Seriously what in the hell is wrong with you people?!?!? If you don't make an effort to teach your children basic human decency and manners don't bitch when they run all over you!
If your child misbehaves don't be afraid to swat his/her butt! There is a difference between spanking your child and child abuse. If your children throw temper tantrums at the store don't offer them a treat if they will stop and behave! Pick their little butts up carry them out of the store and take them home punish them however you see fit (if you don't believe in spanking do whatever it is you do) . Make them realize that there are negative consequences for bad behavior! Yes it may be inconvenient to you if you can't finish grocery shopping or eating your grand slam breakfast but guess what, PARENTING IS INCONVENIENT!!! Plus, it will teach them how to be a better person and help them to grow up to be someone that actual human beings can tolerate.
So to recap; Bad = bad, good=good. Require and reward automatic good manners/behavior, don't make bribes to entice it. Disallow and punish bad manners/behavior. Do your part to make the world a happier place!
Sidenote: If you are out to eat or at a movie with your little bundle of joy and the poor dear gets cranky or fussy. Get up off your lazy inconsiderate ass and walk outside and console your baby. A baby is not to blame for its crying, that's how they communicate. You, however, are to blame for remaining in the situation and letting your baby's cries cause brain damage to all surrounding you.
first off, find the study, "Unskilled and Unaware..." by Justin Kruger, David Dunning, just skim, check out the graphs at least, please.
ReplyDeletethe take home? people simply don't know how stupid they actually are and for that matter neither do we, being people.
no one understands their own of level stupidity. sure, we may be smarter than maybe 60%-70% or more of folks, but we're certainly not the smartest of all, are we? whatever we think we are on the chart...we're probably wrong.
i've especially hated stupid parents though. now, i'm in my 5th year handling fraud claims, as you may or may not know. i can say, i've seen it all and i've worked the shittiest queues you could imagine and taken many a supervisor call.
what is my deduction? what is it i have learned?
"To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell" — Richard Feynman
my thinking was wrong, my thinking is the real issue.
we totally and completely depend on stupid people. we need them, bad and good as they are. we need winners and losers. we need someone to envy and someone to hate. without the misguided, you would be out of business within weeks. Americans drink too much, true. imagine if the average customer considered suddenly began considering their health and decided to order water and pretzels? hypothetical, i know but be rational Amanda, see the cyclical system of life and smile since you have a good place in life.
point is...
we need the proletariat and their stupid children too, a commodity if you will.
being a day trader of stock (retirement hobby), i can't imagine how boring and unprofitable the market would be without the thousands of informed schmucks out there. those zombies ebb and flow how CNN and other agencies tell them too, they're predicable and more importantly, their trading habits are unfix-able, they're damned.
when i see the trend, reap profits is it unethical or am i simply a little bit more informed than the majority? i think the later.
You're right of course. I know I depend on the drones and need them to continue enjoying life at the level I'm accustomed. Though I do get flustered with them at times I can tolerate the fully grown drunk morons,at least they have an excuse, albeit a poor one. The sober fully grown morons drive me insane; I always do my best just to ignore them. It's the children I can't take, all the noise at eardrum shattering levels and amount of obnoxiousness especially when it goes unchecked just irritates me to the core. Perhaps I'm just getting old and intolerant. I'd better make a solid plan of buying a private island before I get any worse.
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