~ Check your fantasies at the door!!~
This portion of the post is just for you guys! Aww aren't you special (helmet!)
Most bars/clubs especially night clubs in large cities hire only the hottest of the hot girls to sling drinks. They do this for a reason, it keeps your attention and keeps you coming back for more. Who doesn't want to be surrounded by eye candy as their drinking? Just to make sure you're clear on this point, I'll break it down to it's most simple form. The establishments hire these women because they want you to come in and spend more money, the girls work there because it's a decent job with decent hours and they want your money. Please keep that in the back of your mind as I continue...
So a guy walks into a bar/club orders a drink and starts eyeballing the hot bartender. He decides he's going to take a crack at her... We will assume that this guy isn't dumb enough to use some lame ass pick up line that we've all heard before and that he has the sense enough to know that his so called "swag" and the "game" he throws means absolutely jack shit to the bartender unless he's handing her twenty dollars every few minutes that he's talking. He starts with basic idle chit chat, current events, sports, the weather, what the fuck ever... That is fine, we work in a social environment and if we aren't busy most of us love to chat. The night continues, he continues drinking. Drink by drink he becomes more handsome, charming, witty, over all irresistible and the bartender is dying to be ravished by him . * ONLY IN HIS OWN MIND * In reality he's becoming incoherent, tedious, sloppy, over all annoying and the bartender is dying to cut him off and throw him out.
Men take a hint, get a clue! We are getting paid to be nice to you! Our employer not only pays us for our ability to make and serve drinks, they pay us to be cute and nice so you'll come in and spend money. We tolerate even more of your bullshit lines and ass grabbing if you're a good tipper. Money talks bullshit walks. We serve drinks and get hit on for a living! If you're honestly interested in a female bartender and want to be taken seriously, don't get drunk and still tip like a champ. After multiple nights of this then ask her out and maybe then you'll stand a chance.
I'm not saying it's impossible for the hook up to happen because just like men, sometimes we just want to get laid too. However, more often than not, it's the money coming out of your wallet, not the words coming out of your mouth that makes us smile.
Moral of the story: Guys if you want an easy lay, strap on your beer goggles and go find the lonely drunk tramp in the corner.
~ Also I don't mean to be biased, but since I'm a female bartender I'm writing from my perspective. I'm well aware that this applies to both sides of the gender coin.
~Special shout out to the women this applies to. Since the male bartender works in a place where he is constantly surrounded by hot women, do you honestly think flopping your saggy boobs up on the bar is all that impressive? Go be the lonely drunk tramp in the corner.
~Check your suspicions at the door~
This part of the post was actually inspired by another blog that I frequent:
Tales from a bar ~ Significant bother
I highly recommend reading all of his posts, the man is a genius. In his post he covered the proverbial kid in the candy store lifestyle that most bartenders are capable of leading. Seriously as a bartender you never have to spend a night alone. It's a great life full of ego boosts, shameless flirting and every variety of "candy" you could possibly want.
That is not what this post is about, this post is about the dark side of the life.
One of the biggest problems is jealousy. Oh yes the green eyed devil rears his ugly head all over the place in a bar and certainly doesn't limit himself to the drunken patrons.
I was raised in the bar life, so I've seen more than my fair share of failed relationships due to drunken indiscretions but I've seen just as many fail due to jealous suspicions. Trying to maintain a healthy relationship as a bartender can be nearly impossible if your significant other has the slightest inkling of jealousy or insecurity in their body. My own grandmother eventually had to forbid her husband from entering her bar while she was working because of his uncontrollable jealous rages. Hell, I've had more than a few relationships end over it, my marriage has been significantly strained by it (for those who don't know us, my husband Wes bartends along side me every weekend). Typically people can't stand to watch their significant other be doted upon by other people. No matter the reason or lack of mischievous intentions on their partner's part.
I got lucky in that aspect (not saying that I don't have insecurities). I had my parents to look to and they were rare creatures. They were a powerhouse combination when it came to the bar. They really were quite successful, not only because they were both intelligent and hard workers but they both oozed charm and charisma. My mom was beautiful, my dad handsome and they knew how to use it to their advantage. Most importantly they both knew work was work. They were there to make money! So it didn't matter which man my mother was batting her eyelashes at or what lady my father was dancing with, at the end of the night they both knew it didn't mean anything but dollar signs. I'm thankful for gaining that trait from them.
Moral of this story: Money makes the world go round. It may not be able to buy love but it will buy a lot of things that make you happy! Also, thank you mom and dad for giving me the ability to know the difference between reality and make-believe. In turn allowing me to not care how much the drunk mess at the end of the bar is flirting with my husband (or vice versa)as long as she's tipping him well
No comments:
Post a Comment